Three Tips to Help You Stay Calm at Christmas
Christmas is a celebration and a holiday, a time we appreciate our family and friends. There is no doubt this has been another incredibly challenging year. Regardless of how you are feeling Christmas can be stressful, planning ahead and accepting stressful situations will probably happen, may make it easier to enjoy this extra special time of the year.
There are many things you can do, that can help you to combat stress and stay calmer, even when arguments and chaos surround you. Recognising symptoms of stress is the first step to finding a strategy that helps you to feel calm again.
Symptoms of Stress include:
- Headaches or Migraines
- Feeling sick and, or vomiting
- Feeling tightness and, or pain in your chest
- Increased blood pressure
- Feeling your heart pounding/beating
- Pain in your jaw
- Neck and back pain
- Aching muscles
- Fatigue
- Insomnia or finding it difficult to get to sleep
- Sweaty hands
- Involuntary shaking/trembling
1. Christmas Presents and Money Anxiety
When you are on a tight budget finding money to buy presents can be difficult. It’s all very well to suggest making homemade gifts; but if you have children asking for specific gifts, that is not an option. The first thing to do is work out a budget, if you plan to borrow money or use credit cards be honest with yourself about how you will pay it back and be realistic. If you have children and know you can’t afford to buy the things they want you could talk to them during a family meeting. Make it fun, get some popcorn and explain that this year you (or Santa) can only bring them certain presents and then give them a choice of the presents you can afford. There is a great game you can play to help children be more appreciative, ask everyone to write down what makes them happy on pieces of paper. Then put the pieces of paper in a bag and ask everyone to pull one out and read it out loud, next everyone has to role a dice and whoever gets the highest number can guess who wrote it. The winner could get a small bag of sweets or maybe they could choose a film to watch.
Younger children may seem fixated on certain things; however, they will be just as excited to get alternative toys. Older children may be disappointed but this will pass and they will still be excited to get whatever gift you can afford. Involving your children and explaining in advance that they will not get the presents they want may be hard, but it will mean you are not anxious during the lead up to Christmas day. Teaching children that sometimes there are limitations in life and helping them to appreciate what they will receive, will make Christmas day far more enjoyable for everyone. Your children will not be disappointed on Christmas day and you won’t be anxious about how they will react when they open their presents
2. Christmas Lunch and Family
Don’t try to do everything yourself. Prepare whatever you can before Christmas day, get younger children involved with preparing the vegetables. Give older children tasks, maybe they could hoover or hang up the laundry?
Have a Christmas day schedule with a set time to wake-up, breakfast and lunchtime, and set a time limit for visitors who are not having Christmas lunch with you. That way you will not have to cope with unexpected visitors when you are trying to prepare lunch or clear up afterward. Have lots of Tupper wear and freezer bags to save leftovers for the next few days. You can freeze vegetables for soups and carve some of the meat, ready for sandwiches.
When arguments arise, having a mantra has been shown in many studies to help when feeling anxious. Choose something simple, such as, I am calm. Repeat it to yourself when you start to feel stressed. Help to embed your mantra, by also saying it as soon as you wake up and before you go to sleep.
3. Go Outside, Breathe Deeply and Visualise
Going outside every couple of hours, even if it’s just for a few minutes can help you to stay calm or feel calmer if you are feeling overwhelmed. Try to practice deep breathing exercises when you go outside, there are various methods and the best thing to do is to try a few different ones until you find one that feels natural. You could try breathing in through the nose while you count to 6 and then try to count to 8 when you breathing out through your mouth. Another method is staggered breathing, breath in through your nose, counting to 4, hold your breath for 4 and then breath out through your nose counting to 4. The key to combating stress is to breathe deeply and keep your breathing regular. Research has shown that controlled breathing, can lower blood pressure, and ease muscle tension.
Visualisation is another tool that you can try when you can’t get outside that has been shown to help reduce the symptoms associated with stress. When you practice visualisation you help your mind to disconnect and basically give your mind a chance to recover from the stress you are feeling.
To practice visualisation start with a few deep breaths and close your eyes. Think of a time you felt relaxed or happy, alternatively imagine being in a place you love, such as the beach or a forest. Think about the details, is the sand white, are there palm trees, is there a river running through the forest, the more you can imagine the better.
Whatever you do during the holidays be grateful for your family and friends and accept that accidents and arguments will happen, what matters is that you can stay calm and enjoy the best moments.
Please reach out if you are struggling with bereavement and grief, you can contact us by email hello@thehealinghubs.org.uk or our Free Helpline on 0300-102-1546, 10:00-2:30pm and 8pm-11pm, if you feel you need some extra support.
The Samaritans have a 24/7 helpline and you can call the Samaritans for free, any time, on 116 123.